Sunday, July 16, 2017
Lower Middle Sauce (Ketchup)
Are the dogs getting enough exercise do I have enough in my checking for this coffee does the boy need more clothes how long can I go without getting that sound under the car checked is everyone at work talking about me is everyone at work ignoring me did I spend enough time with the boy will he be ok without an hour of math today why did I lose my temper at the dog is the grass too long to get with the push mower are the neighbors looking at the weeds on my front lawn how long will it take to do the laundry in the basement can I use oxyclean instead of detergent should I sell the house should we move should we take out a loan to pay the other loans is it ok that I prayed to Hermes even though I don't think he exists should I stop playing Pathfinder if I can't keep up with the basic rules should I just give up acting since I'll never make any money at it should I quit my job and move into the private sector do I have any transferable skills for the private sector should I get a haircut is adult acne normal how do people keep their houses so clean how do people balance their checkbooks how do these clients survive without any money can I justify averaging two lower paychecks so this client can keep her healthcare please send in your application for SSI let's start from the beginning let me get your case record number or social security number I'm behind on writing I'm not putting enough effort into theater I'm not putting enough effort into work I'm not putting enough effort into parenting I'm not putting enough effort into the dogs I'm not putting enough effort into my marriage is Erin happy would she be miserable if we moved what should we do for our anniversary is there enough in the checking to get flowers on the way out how many credit cards do I have where did that charge come from are the neighbors looking at me should I help my neighbor go to the store go away go away everybody go away stop not looking at me is the boy starving himself do I need medication am I anxious am I depressed everybody has unwanted thoughts it's only a problem if they stop you from doing what you need to do what do I need to do what should I stop doing should I stop thinking should I meditate or write more should I get off social media or use more social media I don't know enough to talk about anything I know too much should I read more fiction should I read more non-fiction can I share this thought or is that too much will the boy remember the good is this a good life for him what do I need does it matter what I need how can I stop thinking atheists are bad at philosophy but so is everyone else is America good am I good should I just give up should I try again does the boy need church does the boy need more friends do I need more friends I love him so much this poem doesn't have much to commend it for wordplay just present honesty start the whole thing again it's not such a bad life comparatively all the worries amounting to what good things to put energy into and leapfrogging over all this doubt and getting better at making decisions more quickly and then maybe earning a million bucks
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That was probably the most brutally real and honest bit of writing I've ever seen from you. That took a lot of bravery to put out there. Nice work and remember there are people out in the real world that have got your back.
ReplyDeleteWhew! What an inner dialogue. It's scary relatable. I felt so anxious while reading it because it felt so real. But when I finished , it felt like weight has been lifted off my shoulder. It's like therapy in a single passage .
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